A member of the Democratic party, recently deceased, approached the Pearly Gates. After exchanging pleasantries with St. Peter, he is led into the receiving area and handed a clock which is not running. Confused, and noticing the countless other clocks on the walls, the man asked Peter what they meant.

"There is one clock for each living person, and they represent the amount of time each person had left to live on earth. Since you're obviously here now, yours has stopped."

"Well, why is it that some clocks are running faster than others?"

Peter explained, "when someone tells a lie, the hands will move faster, thus shortening the lifespan of that person." Curious, the deceased asked where Bill Clinton's clock was located.

"Oh," St. Peter said, "I keep that one in my office -- it makes a great ceiling fan!"